Ephesians 4:26 say, in part, “…do not let the sun go down upon your wrath.”
I’ve done this for years. I didn’t realize it, but I did, and I am ashamed of it.
If you know me, you know how I have been denied the privilege, no, the RIGHT to see my daughter grow up. Long story short, her mother lied to the authorities and a long court battle ensued. This ended in me being required by the court to relinquish my rights to see my child. After much prayer, counseling and consideration, I did this. I regret it to this day, but feel that I literally had no other choice.
Even though I felt somewhat at peace, knowing that one day my daughter would contact me and tell me she knows it wasn’t MY fault, I still had anger towards her mother. It was a deep seeded anger that affected other aspects of my life. Never had anyone done anything so heinous, malicious, or hateful to me. As much as I hate to admit it, I thought I had given it totally to God and moved on. But I hadn’t.
Fast forward to today…I visited a church this morning where the message was about anger. I realized that, even though I thought I had gotten over the anger I felt 15 years ago...the deep, dark anger has just been inside me, simmering, waiting to boil over and explode. At times, I ignored it, but it’s there.
If you have never had a child taken from you, I doubt you can begin to imagine the pain, the anguish the unbelievable emptiness it causes. My only child has basically been ripped from me, and under such hateful circumstances. I have never even thought about forgiving the woman who did this to me, to my daughter…until today.
I cannot let another sun go down on my anger towards my daughter’s mother.
I am publically, openly posting this because there are indications she has read my blog before, so here goes…
“Susan, I forgive you for taking my daughter from me. God has a reason for everything that happens. I don’t know the reasons, but I know He does. I am sorry that I have harbored such anger and ill will towards you. Please forgive me.”
“Heavenly Father, I pray that you, too, will forgive me for this anger I have kept so deeply hidden within me for all these years. Please keep and protect Ashley in her daily life. Bring her close to You in everything she does. In the name of Jesus I ask, Amen.”
