Christmas 2011

It's here, and I miss my only daughter, Ashley Jean, more than words can possibly express!

A lot on my mind...

This time of year, when people are filled with excitement, giving gifts to loved ones, celebrating the season at parties, anticipating their children's excitement on Christmas morning, remembering the birth of Christ (which is the REASON for all of this, lest you forget), I tend to remember the look on my daughter's face when she came running down the stairs and saw all the gifts for her. She would be so excited with each as if it were her only, and favorite, gift. The look of sheer pleasure on her face will be forever in my thoughts, and heart. The big hugs she gave me when she realized the gift tag said "Daddy", not "Santa"...unless you have experienced it first-hand, you will never know.

I miss my little girl!

It's been a LONG time since I had the joy of sharing Christmas with her...a very, very long time.
Sadly, no matter how much someone says to me "I understand", they can't possibly. Not unless they have had their own child taken away from them in such a hateful and vindictive manner. People just can't comprehend the pain, suffering and sheer hell I felt, and still feel, since all this happened. I know they are trying to help. Some even try to help take my mind off it in various ways...but it will never happen. My daughter is now and always has been "Daddy's little girl" even though so many years have passed since we have shared a Christmas...

The one thing I have held on to over all these years is the simple fact that my little girl knows the truth. One day, I am certain, she will come to me and want me to be her daddy again. I will never let this go, even if I am old and feeble, I will keep this close to me. ONE DAY...

I miss my little daddy's girl...

She's all grown up now. I have had my ways of keeping up...I know she's graduated college, and has been working towards a great job at a prestigious university, so she still doesn't have time for me...but, one day she will...I have no other hope but this...one day she will.

Ever wonder...?

Ever wonder what it would be like if you were able to pick and choose scenes from movies and turn them into your life? Maybe not the exact same people, but the places, and things that happen...yea, I do too.

Not that anyone actually READS this...

...but sometimes I just like to talk...and living alone, this is often my only outlet. I have some friends who like to talk when I see them, but the strangest thing happens...they only want to talk about themselves. No real concern about me or my life. Maybe an occasional "How you been?" But then they carry on with some crap they are doing, and not listening to me. So I clam up and let them talk, with an occasional "Yea?" or "Hmmm" or "I know, right"...it gets old. I'm thinking I need to go new places and find new friends. These old "friends" can keep up with me on Facebook or with rumors they hear...What?  You didn't know this town has rumors? Oh, you wouldn't BELIEVE some of the rumors going around!!! I hear a ton of them, and I don't even know that many people!! But, I don't now, nor have I ever given two methane expulsions about rumors. I know me, and I know what I do, and with whom I do it...so talk away, losers. I had a co-worker back when I wore a badge that said "What goes around, comes around, if you hang around"...kinda makes sense, eh?

It has now been 8 months since I started my new job. Can I still call it "new"? The guy with whom I interviewed suddenly resigned last Friday and moved back to TN. That makes me the senior man in the design department. A new guy started today, but I'm still the senior man. Not that it means anything, just an observation. I still love my job, even when I bring it home...which happens a LOT.

My motorcycle, Black Betty, is down for the count. The battery isn't charging when the motor is running. It should be. She has enough power to get to a repair shop, but that's it. The parts are only a couple hundred, but I have no idea what the labor will be. With the luck I've had lately, it will probably take a couple weeks to complete. I should be able to drop her off this week. I really enjoy riding!

I sat on the sofa tonight and watched a chic flick. Kinda stupid, but my life is boring. Is it lame that I cried when the guy got the girl back? I don't mean my eyes watered, I cried! Can I possibly miss having a "relationship" THAT much? Does it make me weak to cry? I think it means I still have a heart, even though not many people have seen it lately. I'm still a romantic, and have some awesome "date ideas", but no one to share them with. Oh well...maybe one day I will find a girl who can tollerate me.

Now I'm debating posting this on FB...but if I do, will look like a plea for attention...or just a guy sharing his life, his thoughts........know what? Call it what you want...I said what I sat down to say...now you have just read what I had to say...and you may have just smiled! My real friends know I love them. Yeup, some of you just did smile!

Long time no post...

It's been a while since I've posted anything. I've had a lot going on. I don't think I'll take the time right now to update everything, but I will say my new job is working out great. I'm even bringing work home to do on the side as contract work for extra money!

I don't really expect anyone to see this, I just felt like posting something...

Happy Birthday Ashley!!!

April 20 is the birthday of my beautiful daughter!

Happy Birthday sweetheart!

Check my site for a special birthday message :-)

Downhill from here....

...5 months of being unemployed, but still able to make things work and stay in Bluffton, I'm at the point now where I have to face the music and start planning my return to Charleston. Thankfully my parents will let me stay in their extra room, though I'm sure it won't be easy for any of us. I'm grateful for this, but am still needing to find a frikkin job! Of course I would prefer to stay in Bluffton with all of my friends, but being jobless just won't allow that. I am considering other options, but they are longshots to say the least!
I don't want to lose contact with my friends here, and I'm sure some will forget me when I'm gone. Life happens. When and if I do find a job, I'm certain to make other friends, and I am patient! We shall see what life brings over the next 14 to 30 days!!