A lot on my mind...

This time of year, when people are filled with excitement, giving gifts to loved ones, celebrating the season at parties, anticipating their children's excitement on Christmas morning, remembering the birth of Christ (which is the REASON for all of this, lest you forget), I tend to remember the look on my daughter's face when she came running down the stairs and saw all the gifts for her. She would be so excited with each as if it were her only, and favorite, gift. The look of sheer pleasure on her face will be forever in my thoughts, and heart. The big hugs she gave me when she realized the gift tag said "Daddy", not "Santa"...unless you have experienced it first-hand, you will never know.

I miss my little girl!

It's been a LONG time since I had the joy of sharing Christmas with her...a very, very long time.
Sadly, no matter how much someone says to me "I understand", they can't possibly. Not unless they have had their own child taken away from them in such a hateful and vindictive manner. People just can't comprehend the pain, suffering and sheer hell I felt, and still feel, since all this happened. I know they are trying to help. Some even try to help take my mind off it in various ways...but it will never happen. My daughter is now and always has been "Daddy's little girl" even though so many years have passed since we have shared a Christmas...

The one thing I have held on to over all these years is the simple fact that my little girl knows the truth. One day, I am certain, she will come to me and want me to be her daddy again. I will never let this go, even if I am old and feeble, I will keep this close to me. ONE DAY...

I miss my little daddy's girl...

She's all grown up now. I have had my ways of keeping up...I know she's graduated college, and has been working towards a great job at a prestigious university, so she still doesn't have time for me...but, one day she will...I have no other hope but this...one day she will.