A lot on my mind...

This time of year, when people are filled with excitement, giving gifts to loved ones, celebrating the season at parties, anticipating their children's excitement on Christmas morning, remembering the birth of Christ (which is the REASON for all of this, lest you forget), I tend to remember the look on my daughter's face when she came running down the stairs and saw all the gifts for her. She would be so excited with each as if it were her only, and favorite, gift. The look of sheer pleasure on her face will be forever in my thoughts, and heart. The big hugs she gave me when she realized the gift tag said "Daddy", not "Santa"...unless you have experienced it first-hand, you will never know.

I miss my little girl!

It's been a LONG time since I had the joy of sharing Christmas with her...a very, very long time.
Sadly, no matter how much someone says to me "I understand", they can't possibly. Not unless they have had their own child taken away from them in such a hateful and vindictive manner. People just can't comprehend the pain, suffering and sheer hell I felt, and still feel, since all this happened. I know they are trying to help. Some even try to help take my mind off it in various ways...but it will never happen. My daughter is now and always has been "Daddy's little girl" even though so many years have passed since we have shared a Christmas...

The one thing I have held on to over all these years is the simple fact that my little girl knows the truth. One day, I am certain, she will come to me and want me to be her daddy again. I will never let this go, even if I am old and feeble, I will keep this close to me. ONE DAY...

I miss my little daddy's girl...

She's all grown up now. I have had my ways of keeping up...I know she's graduated college, and has been working towards a great job at a prestigious university, so she still doesn't have time for me...but, one day she will...I have no other hope but this...one day she will.

Ever wonder...?

Ever wonder what it would be like if you were able to pick and choose scenes from movies and turn them into your life? Maybe not the exact same people, but the places, and things that happen...yea, I do too.

Not that anyone actually READS this...

...but sometimes I just like to talk...and living alone, this is often my only outlet. I have some friends who like to talk when I see them, but the strangest thing happens...they only want to talk about themselves. No real concern about me or my life. Maybe an occasional "How you been?" But then they carry on with some crap they are doing, and not listening to me. So I clam up and let them talk, with an occasional "Yea?" or "Hmmm" or "I know, right"...it gets old. I'm thinking I need to go new places and find new friends. These old "friends" can keep up with me on Facebook or with rumors they hear...What?  You didn't know this town has rumors? Oh, you wouldn't BELIEVE some of the rumors going around!!! I hear a ton of them, and I don't even know that many people!! But, I don't now, nor have I ever given two methane expulsions about rumors. I know me, and I know what I do, and with whom I do it...so talk away, losers. I had a co-worker back when I wore a badge that said "What goes around, comes around, if you hang around"...kinda makes sense, eh?

It has now been 8 months since I started my new job. Can I still call it "new"? The guy with whom I interviewed suddenly resigned last Friday and moved back to TN. That makes me the senior man in the design department. A new guy started today, but I'm still the senior man. Not that it means anything, just an observation. I still love my job, even when I bring it home...which happens a LOT.

My motorcycle, Black Betty, is down for the count. The battery isn't charging when the motor is running. It should be. She has enough power to get to a repair shop, but that's it. The parts are only a couple hundred, but I have no idea what the labor will be. With the luck I've had lately, it will probably take a couple weeks to complete. I should be able to drop her off this week. I really enjoy riding!

I sat on the sofa tonight and watched a chic flick. Kinda stupid, but my life is boring. Is it lame that I cried when the guy got the girl back? I don't mean my eyes watered, I cried! Can I possibly miss having a "relationship" THAT much? Does it make me weak to cry? I think it means I still have a heart, even though not many people have seen it lately. I'm still a romantic, and have some awesome "date ideas", but no one to share them with. Oh well...maybe one day I will find a girl who can tollerate me.

Now I'm debating posting this on FB...but if I do, will look like a plea for attention...or just a guy sharing his life, his thoughts........know what? Call it what you want...I said what I sat down to say...now you have just read what I had to say...and you may have just smiled! My real friends know I love them. Yeup, some of you just did smile!

Long time no post...

It's been a while since I've posted anything. I've had a lot going on. I don't think I'll take the time right now to update everything, but I will say my new job is working out great. I'm even bringing work home to do on the side as contract work for extra money!

I don't really expect anyone to see this, I just felt like posting something...

Happy Birthday Ashley!!!

April 20 is the birthday of my beautiful daughter!

Happy Birthday sweetheart!

Check my site for a special birthday message :-)

Downhill from here....

...5 months of being unemployed, but still able to make things work and stay in Bluffton, I'm at the point now where I have to face the music and start planning my return to Charleston. Thankfully my parents will let me stay in their extra room, though I'm sure it won't be easy for any of us. I'm grateful for this, but am still needing to find a frikkin job! Of course I would prefer to stay in Bluffton with all of my friends, but being jobless just won't allow that. I am considering other options, but they are longshots to say the least!
I don't want to lose contact with my friends here, and I'm sure some will forget me when I'm gone. Life happens. When and if I do find a job, I'm certain to make other friends, and I am patient! We shall see what life brings over the next 14 to 30 days!!

December ... in general

Key West is out. Too late to plan properly. Maybe next year.

I have replaced the Canon 20D I had for several years with the new 60D. I've decided to make photography work! I'm shooting for a couple different books already. One about City Market in Savannah, another focused on Christmas decorations. When completed, they will be available for purchase online.

Multiple Ongoings.....

Today I woke up at the crack of 11:00 AM...what's up with THAT? hahaha

Anywho, after a cup of coffee and my daily perusing of the interweb, I decided my apartment needs cleaning. Yep, laundry to wash, bathroom to clean, floors to vacuum...might even clean the Kia up if I get done inside quick enough!

I have my media player going thru various MP3s, currently on Totally Buble (2003)...and I looked up a coca-cola glaze that is simmering now with which I plan to coat chicken wings, shortly...

I have "feelers" out with several friends...oh, I didn't post here yet...I'm trying to find a tent campsite somewhere in the Florida Keys for the week of December 21-28. I have never been to the Keys and thought it would be fun to camp instead of paying outrageous fees for a motel!!

If you missed it previously, I have totally redesigned my website yet again. I've decided that since I can FIND a job, I will MAKE one. I feel confident that I can make a photography business work. I know I have the talent, and will soon have the equipment, so this time I'm going to make it work one way or another!

I feel like I have more friends here in Bluffton than I have ever had at any other point in my life, and I am grateful for them.

October 13, 2010....I guess it's time...

With everything that's been going on these past few weeks, I have yet to secure gainful employment. I have tried to sell furniture and a couple other things, but at this time I can't even keep my phone turned on. I'm sure it's a matter of time before the power gets turned off, too.

Basically, I don't see any other option than to pack my things up, put them in storage, and move back to my parent's house in Charleston. No, it's not my first choice, but it's my only choice...I better email my landlord and let her know...

My preference, of course, is to stay in Bluffton...but I don't know how I can with no income at all.

10/11/10

Still coughing and hacking...sick and tired of it! I thought it was just the remnants of the cold I had, but I have coughed so much in the past 2 weeks every muscle in my abdominal area HURTS. I'm going to the Doc-in-a-box today to see if they can give me something for it....IF I can afford it!

1 am and I can't fall asleep. Been sick in bed most of this week, but SO un-rested. Head is finally clearing up, cough easing up, but so tired.

So many things..........

I have a lot of things going on right now...a TON of options, and each option has a myriad of variables...high hopes exist, but not to the point of making plans based only on hopes...

(Vague enough?)

Not broken after all...

I went to the orthopedic doc today. After he reviewd the X-rays, he informed me that the bones in my hand aren't broken, but the tendons and badly bruised. He replaced the splint I had to my elbow with a wrist style velcro brace. Said to start exercising my fingers to flex those tendons. I go back in two weeks. The possibility of physical therapy has not been eliminated.
He did, however, sign the form NOT allowing me to return to work. Oh well...2 more weeks of insanity.

Somehow, some day, I'm gonna make it all right, but not right now. I know you're wondering when. But you're the only one who knows that.

Friday August 13, 2010

11am and its 90 degrees....sunny...and my hand is killing me!

Yep...I broke my hand!!!

So I'm at a jobsite today, using a scissor lift, and I raised it up and SMACK...had my had on the top rail...it slammed into the attic truss overhead...an hurt like no tomorrow!!!

It swole up, and throbbed the rest of the day. I could barely lift anything about an hour after smashing it, because it hurt so bad! I called the boss about an hour later and told him...and said I need to get it looked at. He suggested putting ice on it and wait til I get back to Bluffton...which I did.

The doc said there are 2 fractured bones in my hand. Gotta wear a hard splint for 4 weeks, then see an orthopedic doctor.

Yea, this is gonna be fun...I'm just sayin

The search continues....

Despite having an apparently favorable telephone interview last week with a large fire sprinkler company, I have not been offered a position. Therefore, I am still searching for a job. I have actually not stopped looking. I cannot continue working in the field. I am not physically capable of working in attic spaces where the temperature is 100+ and the heat index is at least 120!

If you, or anyone you know, knows of any job in any part of the country (or world) that's related to fire sprinkler design, please give them my name and email, or pass their info to me and I will contact them!

81 and humid today....just sayin

needs a new job...NICET level I certified fire sprinkler designer...anywhere in the country...resume readily available...with references

Tuesday July 27, 2010

Had a pretty good day today...GREAT telephone interview this morning...got A LOT done on the jobsite - had an architect get all up in my face, but then got an apology of sorts from the contractor later because I WAS RIGHT...got my cute neighbor to go to my watering hole with me, even though the musician didn't show up...got my Sarcastaholics Anonymous facebook group set up...shared a wonderful new blog with my family....yea...it's been a good day...it's 82 degrees and a rain shower outside right now...10:40-ish and going to bed...


Ashley...I miss you, and I love you ... I'm just sayin........

Here I go again....

Another month gone by and no update...what's up with me?

OH, I know...working in the field as an installer instead of in the office as a designer like I was HIRED to do...THATs whats up!!

Today it's 94 with a heat index of 114!!!!! Yea...not gonna be fun working tomorrow either....especially since I already have over 45 hours on this pay period...too bad I only get paid for 40 hours...hmmm, kinda seems like there are LAWS against that!!!!

Yea, Im a tad bitter right now, can you tell??