What would you do...

What would you do, today, if you KNEW you would not fail...?

Then go out there and DO IT!

You know who you are...

"If you notice one day that we haven't talked in a while, it's not because I don't care anymore, it's because you pushed me away."

Finally realizing...

One of the best feelings in the world is when you realize you're perfectly happy even without the thing you thought you needed most...

Do YOU care...?

I know we have all had at least one person in our lives, at one point or another, who isn't a family member, that we've been worried about. Sometimes you can actually do something to help this person you care about. But many times there is nothing you can actually do. Even when you make it known that you are there for them, and would do anything in the world for them, you really can't DO anything. Well, at least not until they are able to accept whatever help you can offer.

Perhaps they are in a position where any help they accept could cause other issues including making their life less tolerable. Perhaps they have other influences in their life that can't be easily changed, even if they WANT to change them. Perhaps they know what steps they should take to make their life happier overall, but they feel like they have to sacrifice their own happiness to please someone else. Maybe they just feel like they don't have the emotional strength to make the changes they know they need to make. There are so many variables, there is no way they can all be considered.

Often we don't really know exactly what influences they are experiencing. Other times, we know exactly, but again can't actually do anything.

There is no recourse other than letting this person we care about know that no matter what happens in their life or yours that you will be there to help in any way possible. All we can do is care about them, love them, be there when they need us. Never give up on them even if it's too difficult for them to send just a quick text or email to say "Thank you for caring about me. I'm ok."

Until such time as any help you can give can be accepted, all we can do is be there when they need us. This, in my opinion, is what REAL friendship is.

Getting settled...

Well, I moved into my apartment this weekend. It's considerably larger than the condo I lived in when I was in Bluffton. It has a larger kitchen and living room, and a dining room which the condo didn't have. There is also a nice sun room off the living room. That's where I set up my office. I was able to unpack the kitchen, but I still have a good many boxes of other things to unpack. I'm sure that I will be making a couple trips to Goodwill as I go thru all the things I have collected over the years!
One really good thing about this complex, it's much newer construction than the condo. Luckily this will keep noise down from upstairs neighbors. As of now, it appears there is no upstairs neighbor, but that could change at any time, I'm sure.
I passed on the garage for now because my bike fits in the end storage unit just fine. I confirmed that I can add the garage later if it becomes necessary.
I didn't get cable tv, yet, because it's not in my budget nor do I need it. I did get Internet, so listening to streaming radio and watching Netflix and Hulu will be much more reliable than the borrowed wifi I had access to before. Once I get caught up financially, I will get a wireless router.
I'm looking forward to getting settled in and making my new life work. Of course, there are some things that will be difficult for me, especially emotionally, but I will just have to work thru them. I used to think I was patient, but lately I'm beginning to doubt...
I'm sure that once I get completely unpacked, and get my finances in order, I will start going places and doing things where I can meet new people and make new friends. I know it appears to most that I don't have any problems making friends, but that is so wrong. Believe it or not, making new friends is one of the most challenging things in my life. It always has been. Again, just something I have to work thru.
My new job couldn't be much better. It's a trade I have been in since 1997, and I'm finally in a company large enough to have good benefits. They have been in business since 1978 and have about 150 employees. They have a good structure, written policies, and a generous workload. The corporate office is in High Point and I work in the Wilmington district office. So far I get along with everyone, which is always good!

Starting over...again

New town (and state)
New job (same trade)
New apartment (much nicer)
New life (once I get settled)
New friends, eventually...
New life...

Life changing events...

Thru the acts of others, and decisions I have made based on those acts, I have made some major changes lately.
The job I had in Bluffton ended, both by my choice and the decisions of an owner who knows very little about the trade...at the same time, the lease in my condo was coming due. Luckily, my landlord allowed me to find a new tenant a month early and I was able to get my deposit back!
I've been able to find a bit of freelance work to hold me over, so it's not all bad. I have, however, had to make a residence change which ended up being somewhat of an ok thing overall.
One unfortunate thing about this move is that the only people I know here are not able, for various reasons, to go out and socialize. So I'm virtually alone. Not the best of things for me, because I go crazy when I sit around the house. I've had a few good thing happen, including freedom to just hop on my bike and ride. But again, even that would be more fun with a riding buddy.
I do have some friends I can talk to, but usually only by text and email because of various reasons. Which puts me back to being alone. Saddening at times, well, most of the time, but with job leads in two major cities both about 4 hours from here, I have to concentrate on making one of them work out. Then, once I get moved and settled, I can find a club or group that I can ride with and build new friendships. Maybe then the excruciating loneliness will subside.
It's been said that everything happens for a reason, but it's difficult to see that reason when you're in the middle of uncertainties.
All that being said, I have to thank those of you who have been there to listen when I need to vent, whine, or just talk. I love you, my friends!

Crazy week...

Lots of things going on...mostly things I can't post about just yet, but definitely se good things ahead!!!!

I don't see anything but good coming from pending decisions!!

Just sayin...!

March 2012

Been a pretty weird month so far. Some fun, a trip to Bike Week, some being there for a friend in need, even some heartbreak...but life must go on. I guess I'm gonna start blogging more....gotta keep busy somehow, right?

Political Pick-up Truck

I stopped by the Chevrolet dealership yesterday, for a look at the new
Silverado 2012, 1500 pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new "feel" before they become extinct...
The salesman (a black man wearing an Obama "change" lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat describing the truck and all its "wonderful" options...The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.
Feeling like messing with him, I mentioned that this must be a Republican truck.
Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck. I explained that if it were a Democrat truck, the seats would blow smoke up your bum year-round.

I had to walk back to the dealership... Damn guy had no sense of humor.

Bucket List

Certainly cannot do ALL of these in 2012, but will definitely mark several off the list!!

• Motorcycle ride to all 50 State Capitals (not necessarily in the same trip);
• Ride in the Rolling Thunder Memorial Day remembrance of POWs and MIAs;
• Ride to NYC, Ground Zero;
• Skydive over Dubai;
• Visit each Hawaiian Island;
• Diving in Fiji;
• Mardi Gras in New Orleans;
• Photography Safari in Africa;
• Camping in Denali National Park;
• Photograph cherry blossoms in Washington DC in season;
• Smoke an authentic genuine Cuban cigar;
• Ride my motorcycle the entire length of the Blue Ridge Parkway;
• Spend a day at the diamond mine in Murfreesboro Arkansas;
• Pay my respects at Ground Zero in NYC;
• Climb the Eifel Tower;
• Drink a Guiness beer IN Ireland;
• Kayak the "streets" of Venice;
• Carnival in Rio;
• Pay my respects at Pearl Harbor;
• Sturgis (nuf said);
• Motorcycle ride the length of Route 66;
• Ride the length of I-95;
• Ride to Maine for lobster straight out of the water;
• St Patrick's Day in Chicago!!;
• Hot Air Balloon Festival in Albuquerque;
• BBQ and Blues in Memphis;
• Ride the Pacific Coast Highway;
• Camping in Yellowstone Park;
• Pay my respects at The Alamo;
• Consume the largest pure Texas steak I can find!;
• Ride to Key West;
• Sandcastle Day at Cannon Beach Oregon;
• RE-visit Portland Oregon, this time at MY leisure, going where and doing what I WANT...;
• More ink!;
• Visit The Great Wall of China;
• Sydney Opera House;
• Deep Sea Fishing off the Great Barrier Reef;
• New Year's Eve at Times Square

2012

It's here...question is, what are you going to do with it? Just sit back and let it slip away like 2011? Or are you going to make changes, DO things, MAKE something happen...really get out there and enjoy life for a change??

Pity parties are the most boring parties ever...and I've had my last one! It's time to enjoy life and not give two craps what others think or say!

I'm getting my bucket list back out and putting a check box beside each item!!!

I don't know about you, but I'm going to ENJOY 2012...!!!

Christmas 2011

It's here, and I miss my only daughter, Ashley Jean, more than words can possibly express!

A lot on my mind...

This time of year, when people are filled with excitement, giving gifts to loved ones, celebrating the season at parties, anticipating their children's excitement on Christmas morning, remembering the birth of Christ (which is the REASON for all of this, lest you forget), I tend to remember the look on my daughter's face when she came running down the stairs and saw all the gifts for her. She would be so excited with each as if it were her only, and favorite, gift. The look of sheer pleasure on her face will be forever in my thoughts, and heart. The big hugs she gave me when she realized the gift tag said "Daddy", not "Santa"...unless you have experienced it first-hand, you will never know.

I miss my little girl!

It's been a LONG time since I had the joy of sharing Christmas with her...a very, very long time.
Sadly, no matter how much someone says to me "I understand", they can't possibly. Not unless they have had their own child taken away from them in such a hateful and vindictive manner. People just can't comprehend the pain, suffering and sheer hell I felt, and still feel, since all this happened. I know they are trying to help. Some even try to help take my mind off it in various ways...but it will never happen. My daughter is now and always has been "Daddy's little girl" even though so many years have passed since we have shared a Christmas...

The one thing I have held on to over all these years is the simple fact that my little girl knows the truth. One day, I am certain, she will come to me and want me to be her daddy again. I will never let this go, even if I am old and feeble, I will keep this close to me. ONE DAY...

I miss my little daddy's girl...

She's all grown up now. I have had my ways of keeping up...I know she's graduated college, and has been working towards a great job at a prestigious university, so she still doesn't have time for me...but, one day she will...I have no other hope but this...one day she will.

Ever wonder...?

Ever wonder what it would be like if you were able to pick and choose scenes from movies and turn them into your life? Maybe not the exact same people, but the places, and things that happen...yea, I do too.

Not that anyone actually READS this...

...but sometimes I just like to talk...and living alone, this is often my only outlet. I have some friends who like to talk when I see them, but the strangest thing happens...they only want to talk about themselves. No real concern about me or my life. Maybe an occasional "How you been?" But then they carry on with some crap they are doing, and not listening to me. So I clam up and let them talk, with an occasional "Yea?" or "Hmmm" or "I know, right"...it gets old. I'm thinking I need to go new places and find new friends. These old "friends" can keep up with me on Facebook or with rumors they hear...What?  You didn't know this town has rumors? Oh, you wouldn't BELIEVE some of the rumors going around!!! I hear a ton of them, and I don't even know that many people!! But, I don't now, nor have I ever given two methane expulsions about rumors. I know me, and I know what I do, and with whom I do it...so talk away, losers. I had a co-worker back when I wore a badge that said "What goes around, comes around, if you hang around"...kinda makes sense, eh?

It has now been 8 months since I started my new job. Can I still call it "new"? The guy with whom I interviewed suddenly resigned last Friday and moved back to TN. That makes me the senior man in the design department. A new guy started today, but I'm still the senior man. Not that it means anything, just an observation. I still love my job, even when I bring it home...which happens a LOT.

My motorcycle, Black Betty, is down for the count. The battery isn't charging when the motor is running. It should be. She has enough power to get to a repair shop, but that's it. The parts are only a couple hundred, but I have no idea what the labor will be. With the luck I've had lately, it will probably take a couple weeks to complete. I should be able to drop her off this week. I really enjoy riding!

I sat on the sofa tonight and watched a chic flick. Kinda stupid, but my life is boring. Is it lame that I cried when the guy got the girl back? I don't mean my eyes watered, I cried! Can I possibly miss having a "relationship" THAT much? Does it make me weak to cry? I think it means I still have a heart, even though not many people have seen it lately. I'm still a romantic, and have some awesome "date ideas", but no one to share them with. Oh well...maybe one day I will find a girl who can tollerate me.

Now I'm debating posting this on FB...but if I do, will look like a plea for attention...or just a guy sharing his life, his thoughts........know what? Call it what you want...I said what I sat down to say...now you have just read what I had to say...and you may have just smiled! My real friends know I love them. Yeup, some of you just did smile!

Long time no post...

It's been a while since I've posted anything. I've had a lot going on. I don't think I'll take the time right now to update everything, but I will say my new job is working out great. I'm even bringing work home to do on the side as contract work for extra money!

I don't really expect anyone to see this, I just felt like posting something...

Happy Birthday Ashley!!!

April 20 is the birthday of my beautiful daughter!

Happy Birthday sweetheart!

Check my site for a special birthday message :-)

Downhill from here....

...5 months of being unemployed, but still able to make things work and stay in Bluffton, I'm at the point now where I have to face the music and start planning my return to Charleston. Thankfully my parents will let me stay in their extra room, though I'm sure it won't be easy for any of us. I'm grateful for this, but am still needing to find a frikkin job! Of course I would prefer to stay in Bluffton with all of my friends, but being jobless just won't allow that. I am considering other options, but they are longshots to say the least!
I don't want to lose contact with my friends here, and I'm sure some will forget me when I'm gone. Life happens. When and if I do find a job, I'm certain to make other friends, and I am patient! We shall see what life brings over the next 14 to 30 days!!

December ... in general

Key West is out. Too late to plan properly. Maybe next year.

I have replaced the Canon 20D I had for several years with the new 60D. I've decided to make photography work! I'm shooting for a couple different books already. One about City Market in Savannah, another focused on Christmas decorations. When completed, they will be available for purchase online.